How I discovered the cause of my potty training issues... — anuncio de Emma's Mom Hacks

F*CK POTTY TRAINING (respectfully). Well here we are. Two and a half years old and first starting our potty training journey and it's not going great. My mother-in-law came over yesterday and dropped the classic line: "You know, my kids were all trained by 18 months. I just sat you on the pot and you did it." She looked at my son in a diaper like I was failing him. I didn't think he was ready, but THE AMOUNT OF OUTSIDE PRESSURE drove me to do it. It wasn't just her. It was my mom. My best friends. His teachers. And specifically that "Lululemon wearing ass" at the playground holding a Stanley cup. Everybody made me feel like SHIT for NOT having my kid potty trained by now. Like I’m doing something wrong because I can’t get him to do what apparently "everyone" did easily in the 90s. But honestly? I think she’s remembering it wrong. So I tried to follow her advice. I tried the timer. I tried the "just sit him down." And this morning we hit rock bottom. I put him on the potty right after waking up. He sat there for a full 2 minutes, not peeing, insisting he didn’t need to go. I turn my back for literally 2 seconds and I hear "Uh-oh." There he is, standing in a huge puddle on the hardwood floor. He stands in it just looking at it not giving a single f**k. And then my 1.5-year-old rushes over and starts PLAYING IN IT. I turn to grab the baby and I run into the wall. So now I’m trying to console one kid, keep the other out of the pee puddle, and I smell like urine. AND it’s not even 8:00 am. I was done. Checked out. I cannot live like this anymore. -- So I was doom-scrolling Instagram while hiding in the bathroom (so I didn't scream). And I came across this Reel from a child psychologist talking about "Gramnesia." I didn't even know that was a word. But she defined it as: "Grandparent Amnesia - when the older generation forgets how hard it actually was, or forgets that their circumstances were different." So I sent her a DM explaining my MIL's comments and the disaster morning I just had. And she said "Your MIL isn't lying, but she's leaving out a huge detail." And what she explained next made me realize I wasn't crazy. She said back then, most kids were in cloth diapers. When they peed, they felt wet immediately. It was gross. They WANTED to stop. But today? We use super-absorbent disposables that wick moisture away in seconds. So our kids literally never feel wet. They have zero incentive to use the potty because they are comfortable 24/7. So when Grandma says "just put them on the potty"... She forgets that her kids had a biological signal (wetness) that my kid doesn't have. She said "You are trying to teach a blind man to see color. He physically can't feel the signal." And that’s why the timers and rewards aren't working — he doesn't feel the urge until it's on the floor. But she said the solution isn't going back to 1980s cloth diapers and safety pins. It's using modern training pants that mimic that old-school sensation. She said you need "feedback" pants that let them feel wet instantly, but still protect your floors. So she recommended UpAiry training pants. She said they have this specific Feel & Learn technology that replicates that "cloth diaper wetness." So the child feels the consequence immediately, but the absorbent layer catches it so you aren't mopping up puddles. She said she'd tried a few other brands out there but the UpAiry ones were the best she'd used. And I'm thinking... so the problem wasn't me, and it wasn't my "stubborn" kid? It was just that he couldn't feel what was happening? So I ordered them immediately. I told my MIL "we're trying something different." -- Day 1 was rough, he had 2 accidents. But this time, he stopped dead in his tracks and looked down. "Momma Wet." He actually felt it!!!! Day 3 he started to pee, felt the wetness, and stopped himself. He ran to the potty to finish. Day 5 he went to the bathroom entirely on his own. No reminders. No battles. Week 2 — he is dry all day. And the best part? My MIL came over this weekend and saw him run to the potty by himself. She said "See? I told you he just needed to focus." I just smiled and didn't say a word. I know it wasn't "focus." It was the pants. — Also!!! I had been talking to another mom I met at the gym about this. Her son did the exact same thing - 2-second potty sits, accidents all day. I sent her the link and said "let the training pants teach him what the urge feels like." Two weeks later she sent me a voice message almost crying because it finally clicked for him too. All he needed was to feel the sensation before he could act on it. — So if your toddler is having serious potty issues or parents are making you feel like you're failing because "it was so easy" for them... Ignore the noise. There is actual child psychology to this, and our kids just need to feel the signal. Hope this helps another mom who is smelling like pee today. EDIT: My bad I didn't even send the link, so my DMs are full of questions. Here's their link: https://www.upairy.com/pages/training-underwear This page should answer all the questions you have about them too.