If your baby keeps waking up at night read this ☝️ — anuncio de Emily Parker

I fed my daughter every time she woke up because that was the only thing that worked, until I found out the reason she kept waking had nothing to do with hunger. Sarah was eight months old and I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong She could fall asleep on her own at bedtime. I'd put her in the crib wide awake, she'd fuss for maybe twenty seconds, then she was out. No crying, no rocking, no nursing to sleep. Sarah was a dream baby she could self-soothe and she went down awake and put herself to sleep It felt like we'd figured it all out But the one thing I couldn't understand was why she kept waking up every hour and a half, all night long, every single night. Our evenings looked like this at 7:30, she'd go down and then at 9pm she'd wake up screaming I'd go in, feed her, she'd be back asleep in five minutes. Then an hour later at 10:30, same thing then midnight and it would go on like this all night long, every hour and a half, until morning. And I had no idea why. And honestly I was convinced she was waking up because she was hungry. That's what made sense, right? She'd eat, fall back asleep, clearly she was hungry But when I brought it up to my pediatrician, she said I was feeding her enough during the day and she didn't need night feeds anymore She said if Sarah was really hungry, she'd take a full feed, not just nurse for three minutes and pass out. That made me so angry I came in desperate for answers and she basically told me nothing was wrong. I just wanted someone to tell me why this was happening and no one could. And the worst part was the exhuastion it was starting to catch up to me at this point it had been months of waking uo every hour and a half And i was so tired I started having these thoughts I'd never had before dark thoughts They would always come when Sarah would wake up for the third time in the SAME NIGHT, my brain would just go "I hate you." And then immediately I'd feel this crushing guilt because she's a baby, she's not doing this on purpose, what kind of mother thinks that about her own baby? I felt so ashamed because I knew I was supposed to cherish this time, treasure these moments, they're only little once. But I hated it. I hated feeding her at night. I hated the sound of her crying through the monitor. I hated myself for hating it. and it made me feel so alone like something was wrong with me like every other mom had figured this out except me. I couldn't even tell anyone how bad it really was because how do you admit to someone that you're starting to feel this rage toward an eight month old baby that you'd die for? And when I finally got the courage to ask for help Everyone said it was normal just a phase she'd grow out of it power through,. you've got this But it had been six months. Six months of waking up every 60-90 minutes. Six months of getting maybe three hours of broken sleep total. And here's the thing that made me feel crazy she could clearly fall asleep on her own she proved it every single night at 7:30. She had the skill. So why couldn't she do it at 1am? What was different between bedtime and the middle of the night? And trust me I tried everything hoping something would work Wake windows I tracked them religiously using the huckleberry app I tried 2 hours between naps, then 2.5 hours, then 3 hours it made zero difference. Even earlier bedtime later bedtime Warmer pajamas. Cooler pajamas. Blackout curtains. White noise machine Heating pad in the crib before I put her down so it wasn't cold when I transferred her I even tried letting her cry for ten minutes to see if she'd settle herself like she did at bedtime. she just screamed harder and it killed me to hear her crying like that After all that NOTHING changed And honestly, I was at my breaking point. I didn't know if I could take another day of this. So late one night, after Sarah woke up for the fourth time, I finally posted in one of the Facebook groups. I don't even remember exactly what I wrote something about how Sarah goes down awake at bedtime but wakes up every hour and a half all night long. How I was feeding her constantly and didn't know if she was actually hungry or if I'd created some dependency. How I was so exhausted I was starting to have dark thoughts about my own baby and I felt like I was losing my mind. I hit post and closed the app I didn't expect anyone to respond. But a few minutes later, I got a DM from someone named Jennifer and that's when everything changed "I know exactly what you're going through, I was in the same place six months ago. Can I ask you something does your baby fall asleep fine at bedtime but can't stay asleep?" Yes, I typed back that's the part I don't understand she goes down awake no crying maybe some fussing but she knows how to sleep so why doesn't it work in the middle of the night? "Because it's not about knowing how to sleep by herself, I thought the same things I spent months trying to sleep train harder” “Thinking I was doing something wrong but it's not behavioral It's physical." Physical? What do you mean? "When babies first fall asleep at bedtime, they drop straight into deep sleep heavy, solid sleep. Nothing wakes them” “But after that first sleep cycle about 90 minutes the rest of the night is lighter” “And during light sleep, if their breathing isn't perfectly smooth, their body tenses up. Tense body means awake baby." But she's not congested I don't hear anything wrong with her breathing. "You wouldn't be able to It's not the kind of congestion you can hear” “It's just tiny airway resistance. Even the smallest amount is enough to make breathing feel like work” “And when breathing feels like work during light sleep, the nervous system goes on alert which means awake." I sat there on the floor, reading this over and over. That's why she wakes up every 60-90 minutes? I typed. Not because she's hungry? "Your right not because she's hungry, think about it—when you feed her, she falls back asleep, right?” But not because she needed was full. Because nursing calms her nervous system down enough to drop her back into deep sleep” “For one more cycle then 90 minutes later, light sleep phase again, breathing feels off again, body tenses again, awake again." Oh my God, that's exactly what happens over and over all night long. "I know," she said I went through the same thing I thought I was going crazy but here's the thing there are two parts to fixing it most people only fix one." What do you mean? "Everyone talks about calming the nervous system that's why lavender works, why warm baths help, why white noise is recommended” “You're lowering stress hormones so the baby's body can relax that's the first half. “ “But the other half the part no one talks about is keeping the airways open so breathing stays smooth during those light sleep phases." How do you do that? "Fir needle," she said. "It helps open airways, clear mucus, makes breathing feel easier. Like eucalyptus for adults when you're stuffed up, but gentle enough for babies” “When you combine it with lavender one to calm the nervous system so they can fall asleep, one to keep airways clear so they can stay asleep you're addressing both parts of the problem." I'd never heard of fir needle for sleep. "Most people haven't I found this organic sleep cream called Slumberlee. It has both lavender and fir needle, with jojoba and olive oil as the base”. “I started using it on my daughter's chest and feet before bed and within three days she was sleeping six-hour stretches she then after a week she was sleeping through the night." I didn't want to get my hopes up I'd tried so many things But I also couldn't stop thinking about what she said. Because it was the first explanation that actually made sense. It wasn't about teaching Sarah a skill she didn't have. It was about removing the physical thing that kept waking her up. So i asked Jeniffer for the link and I ordered it that night. And it arrived two days later That first night, I rubbed a little on Sarah's chest and feet before bed, same routine as always. She went down at 7:30pm like normal. Then 9pm came and went Still asleep. 11pm Still asleep. I woke up at midnight in a panic because I hadn't heard her grabbed my phone to check the monitor Still asleep 1:30am Still asleep. She didn't wake up until 4:30am. That was seven hours seven hours in a row. I didn't want to get my hopes up. One good night didn't mean anything could've been a fluke. could've been a growth spurt ending could've been anything. The second night, she slept from 7:30pm to 3am. Five and a half hours. The third night, she woke up once around midnight, but I didn't even have to go in. I heard her fuss for maybe two minutes on the monitor, then silence. She put herself back to sleep. By the end of the first week, she was consistently sleeping 6-8 hour stretches. By the end of the second week, she slept through the night four times. I kept waiting for it to stop working. For her to go back to waking every hour. For this to turn out to be temporary. But it wasn't. And the thing that got me the thing that made me want to cry every time I thought about it was that she was still going down the exact same way at bedtime. Awake in the crib no feeding no rocking falling asleep on her own in ten minutes That part never changed. What changed was that she was staying asleep She was making it through those light sleep phases without waking up transitioning from one cycle to the next like her body finally figured out how to do it smoothly Or maybe her body always knew how Maybe I'd just been missing the one thing that was keeping her stuck And the whole time, it wasn't about hunger. It wasn't about sleep training or independence or breaking habits It was about making it physically easier for her body to stay asleep through the night. I'm not saying this will work for every baby. I don't know